In the end, I did what I have done for the past 25 years whenever I hit some crisis in my career. Sarah Hepola is the personal essays editor at Salon.com. Joan Didion, Carl Sagan, Christopher Hitchens, though I had more reservations about that last one. Join Tracy Clark-Flory as she presents her newest book Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey Into the Heart of Desire. Millers victims statement evokes the confusion, the shame, the soul trespass of this harrowing moment. Id think those would be the most interesting things to write about., I gave him an exasperated look. I was galled by the PMRC, a group of concerned mothers led by the then-wife of Al Gore, Tipper Gore, fighting the cultural rot of songs about masturbation, virginity, BDSM, all the topics a curious girl might find irresistible. The next day, your brain will have no imprint of [your] activities, almost as if they didn't happen." She and Don raised six children there. My friends and I at the alternative paper in Austin, Texas, sat around long communal tables at dive bars arguing about pop culture, trying to one-up one another with off-color jokes as we downed pint after pint. My parents were Yankee liberals, only one of many ways we didnt fit. We need to understand these terms -- "blackout" and "passing out -- a little bit better, so that we can have a better conversation. And so I watched from afar as the person whose memory had not recorded the incident came to control the narrative. Sally was very special and made friends wherever she went. The reviews were mixed, but the hits didnt really come, maybe because by the time his book came out, during the cresting wave of Black Lives Matter, the culture had moved away from #MeToo discussions, or maybe because nobody felt like tangling with Malcolm Gladwell. Not gonna die in that ditch today. Its projection. I think a lot of people dont know the difference. But the social and moral and criminal consequences can be grave. A bigot? I had no husband and no qualms about that. Her place was filled with hardback books and writers who had been invited because they danced on the precarious edge of what was considered appropriate. Shes really busy, shes an actress; shes out in LA with her husband, Im not gonna worry about it. I listened to podcasts on which controversial figures interviewed controversial guests, engaging in those delicious conversations I held so dear. But in my professional life, I wrote about apolitical subjects such as dating and travel, and on Instagram, I mostly posted about my cat and whatever seltzer I was currently enjoying. But in 2015 Id written a memoir that introduced some controversial ideas about women and drinking, and I badly wanted to be a part of their rogue outfit, even as I clung to the more doctrinaire one Id long considered my own. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, The Guardian, the Atlantic, Salon, and Elle. My writer friends and I huddled backstage at panels in green rooms filled with chocolate-chip cookies and veggie platters, whispering about everything we couldnt say out there, in the scary beyond. Fear. My parents were Yankee liberals, only one of many ways we didnt fit. Some kind of moral monster? Its a shame the Internet hates him, I messaged. All Content 2023 Sarah Hepola. Her essays have appeared in the New York Times magazine, the Atlantic, Elle, Bloomberg Businessweek, The Guardian, Salon, and Texas Monthly. Speaking Topics Five years ago this month, Sarah Hepola awoke to a scene that looked like just any other Sunday morning. In the pandemic madness of 2021, a journalist friend who enjoyed sounding off on science and homeopathy decided to stay the hell away from COVID. But the conversation didnt go as Id planned. I have a million things to say, but well talk about it after the event.. Cloud Teachers College and became a 4th Grade Teacher in Sebeka, MN where she met her future husband, Donald Hepola. I was so scared that my life was over. Not that project, not that story, not that controversy. She went to St. Me too. Back in 2015, I was putting out my first book, and then I was promoting that book, and then I was struggling to write a second book, and I could not risk the personal and professional blowback that might accompany stepping into the wrong lane. And so it came as an unwelcome surprise to watch the intolerance that my liberal friends once decried on the censorious right flood to our side of the street. But the world kept exploding, and I only retreated further into my hidey-hole. She writes of waking up in a hospital with no idea how she got there and only a handful of cluesa grim scenario that is nonetheless a familiar one for blackout drinkers like me. I just decided, I get to be however I want, and you need to accept me. Its a fair point, but me, personally? Its a shame the Internet hates him, I messaged. And I was broke, but I had no idea what to do about it. She lives in East Dallas, where she enjoys listening to the Xanadu soundtrack and puttering in her garden, when she remembers she has one. I would thump the kitchen table. But central to Millers despair is this: She could not remember what happened. Louis C.K. When men are in a blackout, they do things to the world, he told me. Sarah Hepola Net Worth is $7 Million. Millers victims statement evokes the confusion, the shame, the soul trespass of this harrowing moment. We will miss her deeply. In Blackout, Hepola likens sobriety to a "plot twist" and shows the anguish that befell her when she was finally forced to face a version of herself, sans alcohol, head-on. One of the common arguments made, at least about #MeToo scandals, is that the men (and women) behaving badly rarely face legal punishment. She is also survived by her grandchildren: Sarah, Brady, Matt, JJ, Jennifer, Greg, Joe, Danny, and Shane, along with her great grandchildren Runa, Hans, Asher, Bear, and Autumn. He skillfully reframed a rape culture narrative as a tragic misunderstanding fueled by the distortion of booze. N ot long ago, I visited Austin, where I spent much of my 20s, and I noticed that my female friends were all dressed the . Privately, I worried I was wrong. What the unlikely matchup means for one writer's family. Perhaps you've seen her work on Salon. There are some crucial details missing from Sarah Hepola's new memoir, Blackout -- but that's the whole point. All Content 2023 Sarah Hepola. On the master of precise prose, falling in love, and writing as an irrelevant act. And thats why, midway through a career built on speaking out, I shut up. Were missing the chance to learn. No jail time. A story about sex workers during the pandemic written by a nonsex worker who didnt even frequent strip clubs? Maybe Ill write something lousy. ThisNew York Times bestseller will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. Lets get blackout has been a college rallying cry for many years. Her essays have appeared in the New York Times magazine, the Atlantic, Elle, Bloomberg Businessweek, The Guardian, Salon, and Texas Monthly. But I thought thats what writers do.. Into someone else's life. I was very disconnected from my body by the end. Over the years, pop culture has brought us some bizarre international pairings: Jerry . That shook me. Im not gonna deal with that person because that person brings chaos -- and I understand that. In a New Podcast, Writer Sarah Hepola Expertly Complicates America's Cheerleading Obsession By Emma Specter January 27, 2022 Cheerleaders have long commanded a prominent place in the American. Last year marked a low point for me. Oh God, I did that. Sarah Hepola is represented by Amy Williams of The Williams Company. Careerism. All Rights Reserved. No jail time. But the world kept exploding, and I only retreated further into my hidey-hole. Obviously, I dont think that there will be a one-size-fits-all answer here, but I do think many of us know people who we think might have a problem -- and we honestly dont know what to say. But I thought thats what writers do.. But being sympathetic to these fallen creaturesa trait instilled by literature, my mother, and Oprahhad been declared a sin. Sarah Hepola is the author of the New York Times bestseller, "Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget."Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Guardian, Elle, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Bloomberg Businessweek, and Texas Monthly, where she is a contributing writer.For many years she ran the personal essays section at Salon.She is working on a second memoir about an ambivalent . A story about sex workers during the pandemic written by a nonsex worker who didnt even frequent strip clubs? My college boyfriend introduced me to Joan Didion. Were missing the chance to learn. But if this is someone really close to you, and who you care about, then I think you might want to say -- not something like youre drinking too much, because accusatory lines like that just bring up somebodys porcupine needles -- but, Im worried about you. Perhaps Ihadinternalized my own misogyny, whatever that means. Phone dates with writer friends in other parts of the country stretched to two and three hours as we worked out essays we would never write, toggling between outrage, despair, and armchair cultural analysis of the latest dustup. All I know is that I hated it, and for five years, I kept very quiet about it. Sally was born on September 1, 1928, to Frank and Noella Hall in Little Falls, MN. All Rights Reserved. She eventually identified herself as Chanel Miller, but at the time of the statements publication, it was anonymous, and identified only the other key figure, a swimmer named Brock Turner, whose ubiquitous mug shot helped turn him into the poster child for every smug athlete, every entitled douchebag the world has ever known. Your size might be different than my size. I thought that my friendships were over, because alcohol had been such a point of bonding for us. My point in all of this is: Hey, were having this explosive, important, necessary, fascinating, difficult conversation about consent. There had been more grievous allegations, of courserape, pedophilia, physical abuse. As jobs in the industry diminished, journalism had become even more cutthroat. If you do, that is sexual assault. by Sarah Hepola. The reviews were mixed, but the hits didnt really come, maybe because by the time his book came out, during the cresting wave of Black Lives Matter, the culture had moved away from #MeToo discussions, or maybe because nobody felt like tangling with Malcolm Gladwell. A New York Times columnist who would eventually be publicly excommunicated. I was stuck. I was very disconnected from, Am I even hungry? I am such a binge eater, and I will eat away my feelings in the same way that I would drink away my feelings. We are all unreliable narrators. And I was broke, but I had no idea what to do about it. ", When she was having a blackout, Hepola explains, she could appear to be interacting with the world consciously -- but afterward, she would have no memory of what had happened. Lets talk about it out there, he said, gesturing to the corridor that led to a packed audience, and I gave him that look, the same look Id given the younger man who asked why I didnt write about these things. What he said was slow, and careful, and Ive never forgotten it. Maybe thats why I held so fast to the younger man Id met on Tinder, of all places. You cant predict these things; its all guesswork. But then, if you drink too much, alcohol lowers your judgement and your inhibitions. And I knew blackouts so intimately that I literally wrote the book. Required fields are marked *. Shes the host and creator of the Texas Monthly podcastAmericas Girls, an eight-part series on the lost history and cultural impact of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, a series that no less thanVogue magazine said expertly complicates Americas cheerleading obsession. Sarah never knew she was a cat person until she got a cat. Privacy | Id choose a lot of gnarly punishments before Id choose to lose the status and career Ive built over more than two decades. There were the pressing matters of rent, exorbitant insurance, and the occasional glitter heels. Her stories have appeared in the NYT Magazine, the Guardian, Elle, Slate, Texas Monthly, and Salon, where she was a long-time editor. One of the common arguments made, at least about #MeToo scandals, is that the men (and women) behaving badly rarely face legal punishment. Sally was born on September 1, 1928, to Frank and Noella Hall in Little Falls, MN. Ours was not a moment to explore The Other Side. Sarah Hepola of Menahga, Minnesota September 1, 1928 - April 24, 2022 Sally was born on September 1, 1928, to Frank and Noella Hall in Little Falls, MN. But my cohort and I had grown up wanting it both ways: a safe career, and an artistic one. I was galled by the PMRC, a group of concerned mothers led by the then-wife of Al Gore, Tipper Gore, fighting the cultural rot of songs about masturbation, virginity, BDSM, all the topics a curious girl might find irresistible. Public scolding, all-caps hyperbole, a stubborn refusal to understand another point of viewintolerance, once perceived as a conservative problem, was fully bipartisan now. The reasons were simple, at least for me. by Sarah Hepola. Another topic you explore -- related to your own weight loss -- is body acceptance. Make a life-giving gesture We had a wonderful onstage conversation, because Gladwell is one of those windup toys of public speaking who can wow any crowd. Maybe Ill write something lousy. She writes of waking up in a hospital with no idea how she got there and only a handful of cluesa grim scenario that is nonetheless a familiar one for blackout drinkers like me. What if I had to substitute strawberries for raspberries and the customer didnt like strawberries? She was preceded in death by: her husband, Don; her son, Mark; and her daughter in law Twyla (Paul). The Internet hates Franzen? He was not an online creature, despite being 29. The stories that youre telling me arent funny anymore., That was something that was big for me. When a woman is passed out, that is a clear line that you should not cross. Millers account was one of the most affecting pieces of writing I read that year. Its kind of mind-boggling to contemplatethat not pouring a beer on a strangers head would be the bad career move. Instead my writing grew better, stronger, more clearheaded. Sometimes, when money was tight, I ate this big jar of peanut butter . Sarah Hepola is the author of the New York Times best-seller Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget (Grand Central Publishing). He had a book coming out,Talking to Strangers, which included a well-researched chapter on alcohol and blackouts in the context of a college scandal I knew better than most, having met some of the people involved with the legal case. When I quit drinking in 2010, bringing to an end a dark history of blackouts and tumbles down staircases, I thought I might lose my writing career. The things you and I discuss., Nicole Chung: How to organize your writing ideas, He ran a hand through his hair. Privately, I worried I was wrong. But such was the fierce community forged by booze that I feared exile. At last, I've finally reached the end of The Atlantic. Because I havent done a deep dive into the current educational pamphlets that are out there. She and Don raised six children there. Her writing has been published by the New York Times magazine, The New Republic, Elle, Glamour, The Guardian, Slate, and The Morning News, where she is a contributing writer. You can call it cancel culture. But there would be no lunch after the show. Every once in a while, Id get a head of steam about some scandal, and Id start a big-swing essay only to bench myself a few days later. IWNDWYT. Blackouts might be the freakiest neurological occurrence that also happens to be casually categorized as another Friday night. One of the great mistakes of our moment is being deemed on the wrong side of history. But has anyone read ahead in the book so they know how future generations will see this stuff? Maybe it would get me into The New Yorker! Sallys mom taught her to play the piano, and Sally accompanied many vocal groups over the years, from high school through her adult years when she accompanied the singing group The Harmonettes (renamed 'The New Jubilee Singers'). A nagging sense that I did not know enough about any given controversy to weigh in publicly (though that never stopped so many others). Early in our correspondence, hed expressed great affection for Jonathan Franzen. Are you kidding? I grew so deeply uncomfortable, so roiled with shame, that I began plotting new careers. 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